Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It's not you, it's me...

Uggghhh...quitting a job is like breaking up.  With like 80 people.  I had no idea so many people would care, and it feels great to hear that they do...but now I'm in the "was this really the right decision" part of the breakup where it would be easy enough to fall back into the comfortable and known.  But the damage is done, I've given my notice and sent in my acceptance letter.  There's not a lot more to do than tie up loose ends and say my goodbyes.

I know I'm doing the right thing.  I know this was the right choice.  There were just enough reasons that I simply am not passionate about working here anymore, and I need to leave before they fester.  It's been a great time and I've grown immeasurably with this crowd, but this is the right thing to do.

My boss's boss is coming to talk in half an hour and I'm terrified.  I have a lot of respect for this woman, and I feel like in another context (and if I were older and more confident in my abilities and "qualifiedness" to talk to her), we might have been friends.  Or at least gotten along well.

I'm realizing that I still yearn for acceptance from people I view as "grownups".  Part of me says I need to grow out of that and get over it and stop basing my self-worth on what others think.  However, I think a little need for acceptance is healthy.  It serves two purposes: 1. it keeps me humble and grounded.  If I start relying only on myself for affirmation, I'll get a bloated ego and will lose perspective of what's truly "good" work and what's just good because I don't want to do it anymore.  2. It reminds me to affirm those around me.  As I said before, I think it is SO important to tell people when they're doing a good job, even in the small things.  Gratitude is good, but a compliment just because someone did something right (as opposed to something right FOR YOU) goes a long way.  I don't want to forget how much I love positive affirmation, lest I forget that others love it too.

SO!  Go find someone who rocks and tell them they rock.  Even better, go find someone who's doing well at mundane, ordinary things.  Tell them they rock, even at the boring stuff.  Identify with someone in some small way, give them perspective, and give them affirmation.  (Tell your teenager you know it's complicated being alive, but they're doing great.  Isn't that what everyone wanted to hear?)

Wendy, you comment the most on my posts and that rocks!  I love seeing emails saying you've said hi!  Thank you!! :-D

1 comment:

Wendy said...

Wow! That was a shock!
Certainly didn't expect it!

I comment because i care. Not sure why, exactly... Because you're nice and we seem to have some things in common, i guess.
But i follow this guy named Wizard of Otin, and he always comments on my posts EVEN THOUGH HE THINKS QUILTING IS CRAZY, but it makes me feel good EVERY time!!!
So i'm really just "paying it forward". =-)

It's a community
and i'm a part of it.
I want to contribute in a good way to the community instead of only take-take-take.

p.s. My word ver. is "backa" and it's making me think